Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Obsessive Compulsive Cleaning Disorder

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I have developed OCCD (Obsessive Compulsive Cleaning Disorder). 

It's a recurring affliction I have, this time triggered by play-date with my bestie and her gorgeous little girl. 
My friend and her husband are major perfectionists, I am too just quietly, but they're way better at it than I am P.C.(post child).  But maybe it takes two perfectionists per household to make it really work well; though Mister Frenchie experiences random acts of tidiness, the clean thing pretty much eludes him. I always notice there's so much dog hair coating our wood floors that we could make a whole other dog, whereas he doesn't at all. He doesn't seem to feel the crunch under his shoes after mealtimes like I do.

Any way after traveling to 'The Mall' in my friends pristine-could eat off the carpet BMW, not to mention having had coffee in the showrooms they call home-looking out onto manicured perfection of their garden....I felt the vague murmurings of another attack coming on. 

My darling humble friend doesn't see it, but take it from me and other visitors, her home is a credit to her and something we all dream of but cannot emulate without gargantuan effort, hired help and the sending off of our husbands on long business trips. And maybe sending off the kids too.

Her home is wall to wall serene functionality and perfected designer beauty. (I can actually hear her gagging from two suburbs away now) And as I mentioned,  the floor in her car is cleaner than our dining table. Needless to say she doesn't have a shedding dog in the back shaking himself silly or slobber-coated frizzbees, sandy shoes, random packaging or remnants of several car-picnics either. 

So instead of writing after our playdate, I washed, and polished the Toyota, blitzed the garden, attacked cobwebs, swept the trampoline, I filled cracks in the bathroom, took the wall lights apart and washed those too. I even ran around the laundry skirting boards with a nail-brush.

Historically I have been prone to irregular bouts of OCCD. I remember a time long ago when the moment mine or even my flat-mate's visitors finished a cup of coffee, the cup would instantly disappear only to reappear seconds later washed dried and back in the cupboard like a magician's trick. Sometimes I would even hover if I knew they were almost finished.

I had a problem then and I knew it. Eventually I had to put dirty cups around the room and leave rings on the coffee table for days as a kind of tolerance therapy.

You want another scary confession? For the first few years we had Pinkster, I used to rub the poor Orange Dog down everyday with a microfiber-mitten and a spray bottle of water and vinegar . My excuse was allergies...

Well I don't know if I should be making such a blog-fession about this but I figure if I can’t be cured at least I should be laughed at...

Ooh that reminds me I haven't given the dog a sponge-bath since, what? Yesterday!

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another Multitasking Mummy linky

12 comments:

  1. Great story which has triggered the same issue in me! Am about to begin attacking the house, cars, outdoor furniture OMG

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    1. Thanks Karrie! There's only one cure; sleep deprivation! If my family (that includes the fur-person) don't stop this wake-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night relay, I'm heading for a hotel!
      Needless to say that domestic standards have dropped somewhat.

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  2. Suzy, I think perhaps I need a visit from your friend to spur me into action! I have so much to do and no motivation to start. Thankfully my IDGAS (I don't give a shit) urge is WAY stronger than my OCCD one. Found you via Eva! Emily :)

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    1. Hi Emily glad you found me! I just suffered a bout of IDGAS myself at the end of the week and today I went into OCCD overdrive again. (could it be hormones?) Do I need to take Iron or something do you suppose? The place does look lovely though and I feel strangely at peace - like tidying up the house has tidied up my head or something.
      It was the painter's fault - he started it; coming in finishing the the front window trims that I started and then lost interest in a year ago...
      OK gonna check you out now - you were on my list :0)

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  3. Perfect timing, I've just been attacking our place after we've had five kids under 2 staying with us the past few days...

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    1. OH-MY-DOG! Lauren, are you alright? Maybe you should have a good lie down first? Then pour yourself a generous glass of wine and put on the Gypsy Kings - best vacuuming music ever!
      (I keep reading your comment and shuddering)

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  4. Doesn't it make you sick, seeing houses like that, especially when they have kids...but the way I look at it is that a very clean house is a sign of wasted and very precious time!

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    1. Hey Eva, I think I have friends with that reaction to my house after I've taken a day out to spring clean ( I mean that's when you invite people right? and act like it's the norm?!) my problem is I just love being there at my bestie's home; it's so minimal and serene and of course it has a lovely lady at the center serving up great coffee and great empathy on my off days. :0)

      I suppose my home reflects me as much as hers does herself: mine is a cycle of chaos/ control/ order/ chaos/control/order...that's me. I need a leveler of some sort.
      see you at yours (Bloggie home) next week
      xo

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  5. I love a clean house but at the moment its just over the surface. By that I mean dishes done, floor vacuumed at the end of the day and if Im really good the washing will get folded. Im like you, my massive cleaning bouts come in waves. Last month I dusted the lounge room and wiped all the window frames and wiped all the skirting and walls down. I feel more OCCD coming on, though im going to call it nesting and get this house pristine by August 2 with 2 kids under 3 under my feet. HHmmmmm. Ill try though...Just found your blog via the link. Nice to meet you..:)

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    1. Nice to meet you too Elisha! I cannot believe you can have any sort of order with two pint-sized messmakers: u must have a Masters in Multitasking!
      My worst moments where when we were selling our house & it had 2b magazine perfect twice a week - my then 2-yo had gastro & we were often mopping vomit puddles before open viewings. What's happening on August 2nd?

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    2. Ahhh nesting... You realy are going for the super-mum award! Take a rest girl ! :0)

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