Thursday, February 9, 2012

A teeny-tiny nervous breakdown

 So there I am parked across the driveway of a block of flats, for almost 20 minutes, hazard lights blazing- tearing the car apart  because someone in the back booster seat having energetically popped the lid of a box of teeny-tiny-baby-animals was screaming her guts out that her all-time favourite; "TEENY-TINY-BABY-ELEPHANT IS LOSHED MUMMY! STOP THE CAR! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH” ..
I discovered a lot of things trawling around the floor of our car in those 20 minutes; some unidentifiable, some a bit disgusting and some, like the  teeny-tiny-baby dolphin-frankly a relief. But none of the items recovered/discovered/ unearthed, remotely resembled her beloved teeny-tiny-baby-elephant, who was in fact at home in the dolls house watching TV with "finger-puppet -elephant".
Spot the teeny-tiny-baby- elephant. Then spot the carrot...
 I hereby decree that no toy smaller than a golf ball is allowed in the car at any time ESPECIALLY DURING SCHOOL RUNS!
Who invented this microscopic crap anyhow?  Whoever they are, they need to be sat down and given  a good stern talking to, getting our children addicted to their ridiculously minuscule collectibles.    And worse are these irresponsible parents parting hard earned cash to support this kind of childhood addiction..
Oh that would be me – oops, my bad.
Gaaaah! Little voice just called from the bathtub, "where's my teeny tiny baby whale, mummy?"  and just as I’ve noticed teeny-tiny-baby hamster’s lost his teeny tiny carrot...AGAIN.
Is it vodka o’clock yet?
This is how my day winds down. Ha ha. 
After applying two more coats of deck oil, scrubbing the bird crap off in between, I washed and hung out a load of sheets (it’s stopped raining for a whole day for the first time in about 2 months – some summer). I then drove to Bunning’s for those rubber stoppers you put on chairs so your new outdoor furniture will stop carving out rivets in the deck, and I came home to completely and thoroughly shat-on sheets.
Bloody birds.
If it’s not the possums paint-balling the settee cushions, it’s the damned birds Jackson Pollocking our bed linen. Now they need to be rewashed and a whopping dirty cumulonimbus is ambling across the sky.
I really think its time I got a real job and started a charge account at the dry cleaner.
OK, vodka number two in hand, I’m peeping into the doll’s house, and there on the dining room table, in the teeny-tiny-fruit bowl, next to the teeny-tiny ear of corn and the teeny-tiny half peeled banana (we don’t have a teeny-tiny-baby-monkey yet) is Teeny-tiny-baby-hamster’s teeny-tiny-carrot! And look; there’s teeny-tiny-baby-piggy in the armchair, (bonus).
Meemo, the teeny-tiny-baby-hamster reunited with his elusive carrot.
 Considering that’s just made my day, maybe I need to get a life?
  PS. In the event you have masochistic tendencies, These beautiful albeit infuriating teeny-tiny-baby-rubber animals are from The Eraser Museum
Other, mummy torturing favourites (including the elusive teeny-tiny-carrot) are from the Littlest Pet Shop range:

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to the new year!

    We’re back from three weeks in India, getting over jetlag and back into the swing of things. A very interesting trip overall and there will be more on that very shortly. But what I will say now is that we will miss the rickshaws and the sacred cows but most of all our family there.

    ‘Random acts of fixing’ is a contining theme from last year ; We have Bullseye’s (toy story) knee reconstruction, Thomas Tank Engine’s busted railway bridge, a small cow with a broken leg, another elephant trunk,. not to mention one teddy’s rapid conversion to super-hero, the list goes on..

    Lucie officially entered pre-school this year and we have to be a bit more timely with our arrivals which presents new daily challenges, and morning news (AKA show and tell) has been added to our do-do list each week.

    Lucie’s old friend Puppet Sock has decided to make some home movies – so watch out for those - and maybe he will conduct sock puppet making classes himself? I know I keep promising… :0)