Monday, February 25, 2013


I have come to the startling realisation that my daughter needs subtitles.

And perhaps an interpreter, (or that could be me).

I've said this before but I will, as repetition is the theme of the day, say it again; My girl's speech therapist was an overachiever.

Lately I feel like taking a vow of silence just so I don't have to give any more responses, or repeat anything I've already said.

The fact that we are teaching Little Miss Hava-chat a second language (her father’s native French) sometimes seems like a totally insane idea. Bad enough the questions come thick and fast in English, right? Hey maybe it will slow her down – we can but hope.

My mum was staying with us, from her home interstate, so she could attend Little Miss Hava-chat’s first day at big school. A lovely sentiment and huge effort considering she's in her eighties (Nanna of course) and not as mobile as she used to be. But as she said, she's been to all of her grandchildren’s first days, so tradition must prevail.
But on the previous 'first day at school', Nanna was twenty three years younger and I feel that this one wasn't as easy as the previous few, and might not have lived up to expectations.

What with Hava-chat’s speed-chatter and relentless questions, when even the answered ones, will often be asked again, and again, (why??) I almost lose my voice with the repetition.
If you’re hearing is at all impaired or even if you have a head cold you haven't a hope in hell of following the dialogue. And Little Miss Hava-chat will GET CROSS!!

I had to tell her off for being snappy with her Nana one afternoon. Her angry response was; "Nanna doesn't understand ANYTHING!!!"  (Well many of us don't, when your mouth is in hyper-drive honey.)
I told her Nanna couldn't help not hearing well, “or not knowing all your imaginary pet’s names, and maybe you could slow down and explain a bit more?”, but it still didn't win the sympathy vote.

With this little chatterbox, you need to be an active member of the "Conversations About Random Stuff I'm Into at the Moment" club to give her ramblings some context and this is where you need an interpreter. Hard enough to keep up with the dialogue, but when it's pertaining to the imaginary guinea pig she took care of last week, or a new character downloaded onto mum's iPhone, well you really had to be there. Even the Daddy-Person steps on this conversational landmine with regularity.

Anyway, so after our discussion about being very nicer to Nanna, I told Little Miss Hava-chat to apologise-

And it went something like this:

"I'm sorry I was snappy, Nanna"

"What's that love? You worried you're happy?"

Hava-chat repeats (with a 'see, I told you so' glare in my direction)

Nanna says "you're sorry and chatty?"

"No, I was SNAPPY!" she snaps.

Nanna tries again "you were snatchy?"

Hava-chat, about to explode needed an  intervention.. again. Then I repeated the apology with increased volume and enunciation.

Nanna and I, about to have a giggle over this exchange, suddenly felt the heat of the “don’t-you-dare-this-is-so-not-funny” glare coming from the smallest person in the room, so we shut our traps.

And this is how I spent my afternoons - playing emotional referee to two sparring partners who have a 78 year age gap. And then Mr Frenchie came home for another round of his own.

This could be why I wasn't writing a whole lot at the time? :0)

The day Nanna was due to leave us, Lucie was saying: "I wish Nanna could stay and live with us," and the next day after school, she asked if Nanna had come back yet?

Kids huh?

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